....but this is the hand I shoot with.

Flipping channels last night I came across what is still possibly the funniest movie ever made. Blazing Saddles. You know what channel it was on? ABC Family. No bullshit ABC Family had Blazing Saddles on. Here's proof. They cut every questionable scene, every racial reference (which is what made the movie so fucking funny) and every possible four-letter word. They didn't even use the word ass. They cut Madeline Kahn and Cleavon Little's "oh it's twoo, it's welly twoo!" scene. Why would they bother showing it, did they run out of episodes of Gilmore Girls?

Gotta go.....Scarface is coming on The Disney Channel in a few minutes. Here's some quotes from Blazing Saddles for you fuckers.

[Jim downs a bottle of whiskey in one long guzzle]
Bart: A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to DIE.
Jim: When?

Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character. [Bart reaches for his gun]
Jim: Oh no, don't do that.
Bart: Why not?
Jim: If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad.

Hedley Lamarr: Meeting adjourned. Oh, I am sorry sir I didn't mean to overstep my bounds, you say that.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: No, you say that governor.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: Here sir, play with this.
[Hands the governor a rubber ball and paddle set]

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

[Dr. Sam Johnson (with laurel wreath in hand) greets Bart (the new sheriff), reading from a piece of paper, not realizing that Bart is black]
Howard Johnson: As chairman of the welcoming committee, it's a pleasure to present a laurel and hearty handshake to our new [finally looks up]
Howard Johnson: ....... nigger?

Bart: You be my guest, and I be your host. What be your pleasure, Jim?
Jim: I don't know... play chess... screw...
Bart: [quickly] Let's play chess.

Taggart: What do you want me to do sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up ever vicious criminal and gun slinger in the west. Take this down. [Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

Olson Johnson: All right, we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks, but we DON'T WANT THE IRISH.